Tonight, I got caught...

9.18.10

Tonight, I got caught.

While exiting my regular Saturday evening ministry today, I exchanged parting goodbyes to a few fellow servant leaders.  Both are close brothers of mine, and have the authority to speak truth in my life.  

After our short "love you man, adios" type remarks, one of them stopped me dead in my tracks.  He said to me, "You're heart's heavy, man."  

It stunted me mid stride.  I turned back to them and asked for him to repeat that...

"You're heart's heavy, man... whatsup?"  

I had no idea how much pressure had been building up inside of me... trapped deep within my spirit.  The past week or more, I have felt drained of energy.  Anxious about the future.  Guilty for not doing more about it...  heavy of heart.  

I've caught myself not really laughing.  Not really joking.  Spacing out in the middle of conversations, daydreaming about my escape route.  

I've picked up books to read... and not really been able to focus past a single page or section... 

I find myself engaging busy work.  Cleaning, organizing.  The stuff that keeps my mind off of it... off of my heart.

A single statement like "you're heart is heavy" stopped me cold in my tracks.  

He wanted to know "whatsup"... so I told him.

My heart erupted, as if the pressure cooker's lid was blown off.  

Then my two brothers from other mothers (but the same heavenly father) prayed for me.  Earnestly, on the spot prayer.  True street side prayer.  Right then.  Right there.  

They commanded worry to leave, in Jesus' name.  They commanded the demon of anxiety to release me, in Jesus' name.  They wielded their prayer sword strong and mighty, to defend me.  and I cried.  

I cried.

I had no other expression.  Nothing to say.  My brain is mush right now... all I could think to do was say "Thank you."  

But those words can't come close to conveying the true appreciation and gratitude I feel deep within my spirit for my brother's care and prayer.  They spoke life back into me, though my body is exhausted.  

I reflect on this experience, and THANK GOD that I had brothers to catch me when I'm not "right" and with a "heavy heart."  They saw that... and stepped in to do war on my behalf.  Tonight, I got caught with an anxious spirit... and I am so GLAD I DID!!!

Amazing.  When I am weak, HE is strong!

 

 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (New International Version)

⁹But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God is so good... and I thank God for my brothers.

Wow.