Budgeting and Marriage

08.01.10

Budgeting and Marriage

I’m a geek. I love numbers. In some sort of sick way, I actually get a little thrill out of cutting our household budget with my wife.

She hates this exercise. HATES it.

Maybe I’m somewhat addicted to the mental “game” of balancing inflow with outflow, and preplanning all the expense areas, then living by that plan. Maybe it’s the “strategic thinker” within me. Maybe I simply like pain? ☺

The important thing I’ve learned is to involve my wife, in a way that allows her to be as comfortable as possible. (Kind of like hanging a flat screen TV displaying the Price is Right® above a Dental Surgeon’s chair)

So, this morning my wife and I spent some time in the WORD together, PRAYED for God’s guidance, & reviewed the results from last month’s performance.

We overshot our numbers by 30%+. Ouch. But… we “ouched” together. (The alternative would be me discovering the “ouch” and subsequently commencing in a word-to-word combat with her to defend the reality.)

Once we regained consciousness, and cleaned our budget wounds, we got honest with ourselves and took a good hard look at priorities for next month’s budget.

A few of the “non negotiable” we determined:

1. The Tithe. God doesn’t need our money, and this money is not ours to give Him. (He owns it, we only steward it.) The tithe is a matter of positioning, and a reminder that God is #1 and has “first dibs” on all that is HIS. No questions.

Malachi 3:10 (New International Version)

10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.

2. Mortgage. Though we’d love to continue to eat Filet Mignon and Caviar for breakfast, it isn’t worth it if we have to eat it out of a refrigerator box down by “the river.”

3. Utilities. Though my wife and I enjoy a good “candle light session” (If you are married, you KNOW what I’m talkin’ about!!!)… It seems to lose the romantic flare when it becomes non-optional. Also, I only made it through one year of Tiger Scouts… and we didn’t learn to make fire or purify our own drinking water… 

4. Food. Especially having a growing 4 month old boy (who eats as much as any 4 YEAR old, I swear)… it is critically important that we eat nourishing meals. Now, I’ll be honest. Sometimes I eat MORE than one meal at a sitting. My wife makes these chronic honey pecan pork chops, and I swear they are like eating Pringles man! (once you pop you CAN’T STOP)... At any rate, I promised to try to eat one single serving portion at each meal so we could help our grocery budget stretch. Beans and rice! Rice and beans baby!!!

We talked. We negotiated. We compromised. We sharpened the pencil.

TOGETHER.

Genesis 2:24 (New Living Translation)

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Maybe we take this verse too literally, but to us, this means that we make decisions on our budget together. No separate finances. No separate decisions. We are ONE, in marriage through Christ.

So, we forged on until we felt good about next month’s budget numbers. I try very hard to not be “high D” when we discuss such uncomfortable topics. She is a “high S” and needs time to process, think, and reluctantly adapt to change. In order for a discussion like this to be successful, I MUST give her the room to be “her.” She has a 50% vote on what goes on this single-partisan family.

Once the battle was over, we looked at each other and let out a huge sigh of accomplishment. I’m very proud of her for getting through this. I feel good about how I lead my family through this process.

Until next month.

I’ve heard it once asked:

“Which would you rather choose? The pain of discipline or the pain of regret?”

As for me and my house? We will serve the LORD through a disciplined budget.