Reflections of a HIGH D

07.26.10

Reflections of a High “D” Personality Style

Being a high “D” personality style, I often find my emotional mind locked into one single focus track. When this drive is harnessed properly, it can be a great contribution to my calling of “thrust energy.” When left to run rampant, it can definitely limit my perspective to only seeing what my pride filters to me. ☺

Wikipedia defines the “D” personality as follows:

Dominance – relating to control, power and assertiveness
People who score high in the intensity of the "D" styles factor are very active in dealing with problems and challenges, while low "D" scores are people who want to do more research before committing to a decision. High "D" people are described as demanding, forceful, egocentric, strong willed, driving, determined, ambitious, aggressive, and pioneering. Low D scores describe those who are conservative, low keyed, cooperative, calculating, undemanding, cautious, mild, agreeable, modest and peaceful.

What can I say? I’m a natural born “D!”

Please understand, words like control, power, and assertiveness are not inherently evil. They only grow a negative connotation when driven by the flesh, and not the spirit. (When they become more about what I GAIN, than what I GIVE.)

Groups need assertive leaders delegate and empower. Businesses need decision makers to take powerful action. Social issues need assertive mercenaries to pioneer solutions without being asked.

But alas, there will always be that tendency for me to revert back and lash out in commanding orders. Especially when I’m exhausted after a long day, or drained of energy… it’s like the “governor” of my internal engine is removed, and this caveman can only think about getting his basic needs of sleep, food, and peace and quiet met. With this survival mode instinct in mind, all other approaching needs/requests/favors/people fall off my radar completely.

My poor wife can tell you more about this than I’ll ever know. She is an “S” personality style, through and through. Check out Wikipedia’s definition of the “S” personality style:

Steadiness– relating to patience, submission, persistence, and thoughtfulness. People with high "S" styles scores want a steady pace, security, and do not like sudden change. High "S" individuals are calm, relaxed, patient, possessive, predictable, deliberate, stable, consistent, and tend to be unemotional and poker faced. Low "S" intensity scores are those who like change and variety. People with low "S" scores are described as restless, demonstrative, impatient, eager, or even impulsive.

My wife and I can be in a conversation with a couple, and she will hear totally different things than I heard! My wife can sense when “something’s wrong.” My wife takes the time to listen. My wife rarely has emotional explosions, but rather is even keeled most of the time. My wife orders the same things off the menus of the same restaurants that have made it to her “approved dining” list. My wife is a true S, through and through.

I’m always amazed at how our two personality styles blend as well as they do. It’s almost like that barrel analogy: where my planks are low, hers are higher… thus allowing us a greater capacity as a unit!

And I love her for it. She and I complement (and compliment) each other's styles well.

I need to slow down. Be quick to listen, and slow to speak (James 1:19)… even when I’m tired. I definitely need the Holy Spirit to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) so I don’t put my foot in my mouth and say something that hurts or offend. I definitely need to overfill my heart with the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), so that I will overflow them in my actions. I need Jesus… in a BIG way. Without Him, this D stands for “Done-for.”

Good thing for Jesus’ Grace. I definitely don’t DESERVE salvation… But He gives it as a gift. Jesus died for my sins of selfishness, and egotism. He has atoned them on the cross, so that I won’t be punished for them. The gift is free. The salvation is real. Man, we serve an AWESOME God!